life is hard when everyone loves you
by dirty diana15
Summary: (well almost everyone...) jack is a player, but he cant help it. everyone he is close to just suddenly becomes attached to him! please read and review! warning: no real begining...
1. following an idiot on a search

POTC is not my possesion... that meant, i don't own jack, or anyone of those characters for that matter... if i did own jack, i wouldn't be here! i would be in our room, cuddling and... *smack* shut up! SHUT UP!!! too much information!!!!  
  
this fic is a slash/non-slash kinda thing... i don't kno how to explain... first theres a love square, then a love hexigon? wats a shape with 6 angles?? whatever, its a love polygon in the near ending...  
  
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"where the hell is jack!??!?!" helen screamed over the roaring waves.  
  
"i dunno!!!" silky yelled back. "grrrrrrrrrrrrr! that stupid jerk!"  
  
we've been on a search for jack for 3 days now, but still no sign of him. it was a tiring job because we had to drag will along. we had to find jack and sort things out between us... that 3-timer asshole!!! (A/N: owww.. i cant say that, love him too much.. ) we've looked EVERYWHERE!!! he was no where... we thought he was gone but then we spotted the black pearl on the dock.. that was when we found out how dumb we actually were..  
  
will had his hands on his hips, "idiots!!! u both r idiots!!! who was the one that told us we've seached everywhere??!! that moron need a good beating!! who was it? huh?!"  
  
"YOU!" silky and helen shouted in unison.  
  
"and when we do find jack, he'd be coming with us!" helen said. but deep down inside she was thinking of having jack all to herself.  
  
will took out his sword. "jack is coming with ME!" will took a step forward while we moved back.. we have no weapon, so we decided to just run.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHH!!" as will charged at us. we ran all the way to the dock and got in the black pearl. on the deck was dear jack naked, sun tanning himself. he was on his tummy and we had a good view of his round sexy butt. all we could do was stare and keep from drooling.  
  
"... and really bad eggs, drink up me earties yo ho! yo ho, yo ho! a pirates life for me!..."  
  
jack heard our footsteps so he turned around and screamed while trying to cover himself with his 2 hands. "why are you here, loves? ehh... aye, can you pass me my clothes?"  
  
silky picked up the clothes and threw them into the water, "oops!" and smirked.  
  
jack sighed. he stood up, still covering himself, and jumped into the water. the moment he jumped, he forgot he was still naked and had his arms in front. me and silky both had a good view of whats in front... as will got on the ship, he saw too.. blood came pouring out of his nostrils. he had to excuse himself and left for his house cause the blood was all over his shirt. 


	2. a great find :P

when jack got back out of the water, he was already dressed... wonder how he does that? anyways, when he got back on to the ship, we couldn't stop giggling at the incident. jack was confused cause he didnt know what we were laughing about. so we told him about him showing his family jewel when he was diving in... jack blushed like he's never blushed before. and we laughed even harder. our fun ended when will came back with some new clothes. when he saw jack, he ran to his side and started hugging him. what made us ticked was that jack was huggin him back..  
  
"grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!" i roared and head butted will. will fell backwards and was knocked out.  
  
"purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!" silky crawlled next to jack and leaned against him.  
  
jack wrap his arms around us, as we lean against his muscular chest... helen couldnt help but drool... she was real excited at the idea of leaning against jack's chest... (A/N: if you know me very well, then you should know which part of jack's body part i like most) silky turned and saw a waterfall of saliva landing on jack's yummy thighs...  
  
"HELEN!!!!" silky yelled in my ear.  
  
jack pushed helen away as soon as he saw the puddle she made... helen wiped the saliva off her lips and leaned against jack once more... she wanted the feeling his smooth chest against her cheek.  
  
"lets go walk on the beach!" silky suggested, as she pulled jack on to his feet. helen slipped off jack's chest and landing on the deck, head first. jack took her hand and puller helen to her feet.  
  
they walked hand in hand on the beach... it was a romantic moment. the sun was setting and the moment was beautiful... yeah the moment WAS beautiful, it wasnt so beautiful when the stupide will turner came and ruined our day... AGAIN!!! gosh, what is wrong with him?!?!  
  
"stay away from MY JACK, you whores!!!" 


	3. choosing sides

the 2 girls are really mad now... who's he calling whores?! now hes gonna get a taste of helen and silky!!!  
  
they charged at will in full speed. "who are you calling whores?!?! huh?!?!" helen elbowed him in the stomache.  
  
"bastard!!!" silky shouted as she elbowed him in the back. will fell to the floor, but they kept kicking him.  
  
"son of a biotch!! not so cocky now huh?" helen jumped up and body slammed him.  
  
"OW!" will yelled in pain. "jack.... help.. me!!" then Helen and silky stopped and looked at jack. Was he gonna help him? Jack looked tensed. The 2 girls glared at jack as he walked closer and knelt down next to will. Will slowly got up with the help of jack, and they walked to the nearest piece of rock and sat down. Will looked at jack lovingly, while jack winked at him.  
  
ok. That was it.  
  
Helen launched at will while silky punched jack in the eye.  
  
"jack sparrow, who are you gonna choose? Us? Or will?!" they couldn't stand this any longer. "either he goes or we do!"  
  
jack stood up and backed away. Will joined the girls and looked at jack. "yeah jack, you cant keep us all." Silky and Helen began to look vicious and will didn't look very happy either. The 3 walked towards jack at the same time. "so who will it be?"  
  
"LOOK OVER THERE!!!!" jack yelled and pointed somewhere behind them. the 3 turned around and found nothing but a garbage-man on patrol. when they turned around, jack was on his way up a road.  
  
"jack sparrow, come back here!!!" they screamed in unison, and ran after jack.  
  
Then suddenly, jack stopped. "aye, you are all my love, savvy? I cant choose. I love you all too much! C'mere, love!" he held out his arms, but his lovers ignored him.  
  
Will went forward and was ready to hug jack but Helen and silky pulled him back. He turned around and said "whats wrong?!" he pushed the girls aside and tried again, but he was held back.  
  
"jack said his LOVE!!! That is, of course, US!" Helen and silky went and hugged jack.  
  
Will was mad now. "dear jack said his LOVE!!! Its singular!!! And theres 2 of you!! HA! So whose his love now!?" will ripped Helen and silky from jack and hugged him.  
  
Silky pushed will on the floor and stepped on his head.  
  
Helen looked into jack's handsome eyes and said , "its obvious that this wont work out, SO JUST CHOOSE ALREADY!!!!" 


	4. the fight continues

After all the pressure the trio gave him, dear jack still couldn't decide. it was a sad sight, helpless jack is being bombarded by 2 girls that suddenly spoke a different language and a male that says he actually belonged to him. poor jack.  
  
"diu lei lo mo, hum ga chan! Ho gan ng gan, gan gor say gay lo. bin tai zai!!!" Helen screamed in his ear as she poked his head over and over again. jack shaked her off. "what the blaze are you talking about?!!" Helen pushed him on to the floor and started screaming in his face again. "mei lun see ah?! Ngo jong yee gong mei jao gong mei la! Sao dei laaaaaaaaaa!"  
  
silky wasn't doing very well either. she was having a sword-fight with will. *sword banging against each other sounds* "why don't you just take jack's advice and find yourself a girl?!??! Where da hell is fat lips Elizabeth?!?!!"  
  
will couldn't take talking about Elizabeth because when he told her about his feelings for jack, she beat him up so bad that he was paralyzed for a month. will tightened his jaws and began to fought back ficiously, "its none of your business, biotch! You just need to know that jack is MINE!!!!" he knocked silky's sword out of her hands and pointed his sword right at her heart. "AH HA!!! Die foool!" as will was about to stab her, silky dodged just in time. "HAAAAAAAAA!!! SUCKER!!!"  
  
"whats the big commotion about?!" a voice from behind them scared them. When they turned around, there he was.... da commodore. (PEDOPHILE!!!!!!!!!!)  
  
A/N:: Helen and silky are both from hong kong, so they know Cantonese. They sailed on a boat that was taken over by the black pearl. The crew took them in and befriended them. They also met jack sparrow, who they immediately fell in love with.. (DUH!!! He's sooo damn HOTT!!) I cant explain what Helen said in Cantonese because its just not translate-able in English. sorry for the inconvience. :P (what I really want to say was "HA! SUCKERS!" LOL JK!!!!!!!!) 


	5. Commodore and Gillette

Silky points a finger at the commodore. "OH! IT'S THE COMMODORE!!!!" she quickly ran towards him and left Will there all alone.  
  
Helen and Jack was like, "Awwww. poor Will!"  
  
"Poor will is rite!" Helen spitted at Jack, "silky left him for that pedophile!!!!"  
  
Silky turned around, "HEY I HEARD THAT!!! And for the last time, commodore is NOT a pedophile! His love is Gillette!!! Ooowww, they are such a good couple.."  
  
"HEY!" Norrington blushed, "how did you know about that?!" silky looked at him, she knew he's trying to hide the fact that he was..well, slashy.  
  
"I saw you and Gillette smooching in the-"  
  
Mr. Fine gentleman Norrington covered silky's mouth before she could say another word. "You must be joking! I ONLY LOVE ELIZABETH! HAHAHAHAHHA! You must be joking! VERY FUNNNY!!!!" (See what a gay-ass he is?)  
  
Commodore looked at everyone, they weren't buying the story. he looked at his shoes for a moment then said, "Fine... I lied, is that such a sin?"  
  
And with that, Helen screamed in Jack's ear, "see? I told you!!! He's the same kind as your will turner!"  
  
"Commodore? Where are you?? Oh dear commodore! Where art shall thou be???" a gay-ish, annoying voice called out. Everyone stared Right at Norrington.  
  
A/N: ELIJAHHHHHHH!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!??!?!! 


	6. awkwardly true love

"DOUGH!" Norrington shouted.  
  
"OH! Commodore, there you are! C'mon luv, its time for dinner! Tonight, I made your favourite dish-" Gillette looked down from the bridge and saw the people that was with Norrington. "oh boy."  
  
there was a awkward silence right after that.  
  
".. commodore.. dinner's gonna get cold." Gillette said quietly. As soon he saw everyone staring at him, he shuts his annoying trap. Poor gay Gillette felt everyone's eyes on him. He looked down at his shoes and felt his face turned beet-red.  
  
Commodore stepped in. " hey, stop looking at Jjjjjjjillette like some criminal. We are truly in love and we are proud of it. When your in love with someone, you won't care about what you are gonna be up against, you just want to stay with that person forever!"  
  
Gillette looked at Norrington lovingly, as he pulled Gillette closer to him. Norrington slowly caressed his face and pulled in for a passionate kiss. the rest of them just kept staring at them, dumfound.  
  
Norrington gently let go of Gillette and held both of his hands tightly. "C'mon Gillette, dinner's awaiting." Norrington put his arm around gillette's shoulders as gillette layed his head on his. man's shoulder. They left the crew all awkward as they walk back to their love boat.  
  
"ok. that was weird" jack scratched his head slightly. Helen and silky quickly turned their heads to look at Will and shivered. "right.." 


	7. the swanns family

A/N: The names Norrie and Gillie are copyrighted. my dear friend made it up, all credited to her. (Go read her fic. her pen name is koenta) just want to clear that up. NORRIE AND GILLIE ARE HER'S!!!  
  
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Jack quickly sneaked away as his 3 lovers stood there, staring into space.  
  
"I'm gonna find me some quiet, aye, look at them. geeks!" jack mumbled as he fleed to 'safety'. When the 3 'geeks' snapped out of their trance, they found nothing- except a trail of footprints. they decided to follow it, just for the sake of it, what the heck? they were bored. They totally forget everything that happened before. Norrie and Gillie must have brainwashed them.  
  
jack got to the gates of a huge mansion. He couldn't figure out why this mansion look so damned familiar. Suddenly he heard the big doors behind the gates starting to open. He Elizabeth swann coming out from the door, along with her father and the servants.  
  
Papa swann turned around to face daughter swann as he stepped out. "Elizabeth, when I am gone, u must keep up with your studies and stop fooling around with that so called 'pirate'! sighs"  
  
"father! Me and him are like this!" Elizabeth put 2 fingers together and pretended she broke them. "we are over! O-V-E-R!!!!" swann-man shook his head but deep down, he was saying "THANK GOD!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!"  
  
as soon as sir swannson left, jack climb over the fence and sneaked into the swann property. 


End file.
